The Oracle will see you now....

Dear Readers,

The editors here at the CarryOn Clubhouse Headquarters are proud to bring you the highly demanded weekly segment WWJD (What Would Judith Do?). Each week will see a bevy of advice from our very own font of wisdom: the fabulous Miss Judith Russell. Such wisdom is nary found in the modern world - relegated to the dark and musty corners of myth by the harsh illumination of the Enlightenment. Ancient Greece had the Oracle at Delphi, the Middle Ages had the magnificent and powerful Merlin, the 70's had the hulkish and surprisingly sagely Mr. T. Following in the great master tradition of wisdom passed through the ages, we bring you Miss Judith Russell, who needs no introduction. Prepare your body for the icy chills of mortal revelation and strap on your helmet lest your mind be blown completely.

The format of the column will be in a Q+A style with the raw honesty and devastating force of a Vegas hangover. Your humble editors will only extract that material we deem too awesome for your feeble minds. The first weekly installment, prepared for you by Yours-Truly, the Managing Editor of the CarryOn Clubhouse, Adrian Scandle in conjunction with Editor-in-Chief Dr. David M (PhD., Tween Studies, CarryOn Univ.) and Styletainment Editor Grace K delves deeply into the psyche of Judith in order to distill from the sea of knowledge the one pearl of wisdom from millions of thought-oysters and clams of well constructed curses. Without further ado:

Q: Judith, what would you do if you were dragged underwater by a giant turtle?

A: Drown.

Q: Judith, what would you do if you liked somebody and didn't know how to tell them?

A: Ask a friend to do it.

Q: Judith, what would you do if you won the lottery?

A: Give 95% to charity and have fun with the rest.

While these questions are admittedly novice-level, we figured we'd break you in, dear Readers, so you could fully acclimate to the earth shattering truths lurking behind the reception desk. We welcome question submissions. If there is anything you want to know, anything at all, send us your questions and we will place them before Judith. Remember, as Aladdin quickly discovered in Aladdin 2: Return of Jafar, be careful what you ask for!!!

Humbly Your Servant,

Managing Editor -- Adrian Scandle