Amanda G. and Old Lace

I Used to Love the 80’s
One Woman’s Battle with Cheap Lace

I think we can all agree that I took the 80’s prom theme very seriously. My costume was my dream realized and seeing crowds of giant hair made my heart swell. That’s the funny thing about dreams… they often crash and then they burn. I now bring you to present day where I can barely type due to the overwhelming itchiness I’m experiencing on both my hands. I have bad news my friends… cheap, fingerless lace gloves are bad – very, very bad. I think the rest of the story can best be shared through the conversation had recently with my dermatologist.

Dermatologist: “So… tell me when you started itching.”

Me: “Well… I noticed slight irritation over the weekend, but it really picked up the past couple days.”

Dermatologist: “Did you do anything out of the ordinary? Lotions, clothing?”

Me: “Um…well… I did wear these lace gloves last weekend… not that I would normally wear those, I mean who would… but we had this party, an 80’s party, so, uh, yeah… I guess that was different.”

Dermatologist: Swallows laugh. “This seems like the most logical explanation, your itching is quite localized. I must say it’s also one of the more unique stories I’ve heard. I guess my recommendation would be to take some Claritin and stay away from any sort of lace gloves… maybe all gloves, just to be safe. Definitely something to think about for your next costume party, huh?”

Me: Shamed. “Yeah, thanks. I’m going to go ahead and go now.”